There are friends who share all of the core needs for friendship
Vulnerability, it’s there
Respect, it’s there
Congeniality, check
Value, they supply
And then, asides the above
There’s a click
They carry your matter like no one does.
They understand your silence & unspoken words.
They stand for you in spaces you’re absent & got your back always.
They are your gee(s) with no iota of doubt or reservations.
May we be such kind of friends.
Urrrh, you’re thinking I’ll say “may we find friends like this”.
Well, amen!
Valid prayers too & I hope everyone finds one or more in their corner who’s this person however, I’ve come to know we’re obsessed & more fixated about getting from people but do not take into much consideration giving.
Friendship is a two-way street & If you want all of the above, be all of the above.
We should live life more through the perspectives of being a giver not a taker.
Ideas come in mind about what we can do
But,
We’d rather stifle & suppress
So it won’t look like we’re doing too much
So it won’t look like you’re begging for friendship
So it won’t look like you’re carrying their matter on your head
I’ve heard a couple of stories & seen through experiences which makes me wonder why we refuse to fill the love tank in our relationships that are platonic(Friendships)
You see the great thing your friend is doing but you’d rather be quiet
Really shows how much you think of your friend
You will ask “what can I do to…?” instead of using your discretion & taking initiatives.
(You think it’s only in romantic relationships that this hurts, noohh)
Your friends would tell you not to bother & you’ll take it at that instead of seeing through them that they do not want to bother you really & it’s a better thing to let them know they’re not a bother, you’re not being bothered or you enjoy that kinda bothering from them.
What about the ‘Nicodemian’ kinda friends who come to your inbox to gas you up but when it’s time to gas you up publicly & where it matters, they’re quiet or will suddenly leave the room.
They talk down on what you’re doing instead of constructively criticizing, strategizing & drumming support.
They cannot defend or sing your praise in spaces you’re not present.
They are just being strategic with you for gains, they really do not have anything to offer, & once they’ve gotten it, tadahhh, they’re gone!
While you won’t reciprocate that energy, you must keep taking notes.
And maybe you’d finally get to understand & summon the courage of the reality that you were their person, but they were never yours- It is what it is.
You should see the first part to this THOUGHTS ON ADULT FRIENDSHIPS
You’d understand that there are colleagues, church sisters or brothers, there are acquaintances, family-friends, ‘frienemies’ & there are friends & until you step into the reality of this dynamics at any given time, you’d continually give yourself to unnecessary hurts.
Finally, I hope you’ll come to understand some friendships are not supposed to be forever.
Friendships end.
There are friendships for a season, seasons go & comes.
There are friendships for a reason
And friendships for a lifetime- You evolve together
Whenever & whereever it ends, extend grace.
They were there through a season & maybe if they had stayed longer or forever as you’d have wanted, you wouldn’t meet some other people who would bring clarity to your path-Appreciate that.
Be certain of the truth that you’ve not met all of the people who’d love you.
You’ll find many others
Many others will come your way
Don’t sabotage ‘cos of bad experiences my dear. You’re deserving of love that makes your heart leap.
Every human is deserving of this kinda love.
Embrace & savor new relationships dear.
May we grow to be true friends
In deeds
In words
In presence
&
May we be gifted true friends.
Moving on from here, would want you to ask all of your friends this one question
“How can I be a better friend?”
Cheers to pristine friendships.
