Had this subtle pressure to write about something ‘very deep and spiritual’ as this might come off otherwise but still, I’d leave you to judge.
I hope this stirs someone to possibly try on making a melodious harmony .
If you get to learn something from it, will be my joy.
If you don’t, but rather chose to enjoy it , that isn’t bad either.
Was reminiscing earlier yesterday about how it was celebrating birthdays in my family before my 6th birthday yesterday.
I & my little sister would have our hairs styled by our mum, we would then wear mufti to school.
The weekend before the day would have her shop for toys and condiments for cooking jollof rice.
The last was a keyboard for me & a teddy bear for my sister.
I remember my cousin teaching me how to play the song- I just want to say.
It was always a good time for my sister and I
No buying of confectionaries to give our classmates
We would wear uniforms to school
We even ate beans on some days-argh…
Not sure if we even got toys anymore from that day.
A wrong projection from another changed the love course – Another was an elderly person in the church.
I remember how my dad intimated us about it at the family altar.
“Those who celebrated birthdays in the Bible had someone killed that very day..”
“So we won’t be celebrating birthdays anymore as they are worldly and he went on and on.
And that it was
“How are you celebrating your birthday Omo-Oluwa?” my mum asked happily over the phone
“Shey it’s not good to celebrate na’ I replied with subtle sarcasm.
“It’s only the spiritual one that matters” I finished off.
“I know, I know and I understand, but since you are far away, I will send something to you so you would feel good”.
I had newly travelled out at the time & was still adjusting to the terrain of the country I was.
Shortly after, my phone beeped
It was an alert
And that it was with my parents sending me something to have a good time every year
There was financial strain at home
I had to move out of my apartment since I couldn’t afford the increase in price & was putting up with a friend.
Although I had little, tried having a photoshoot so I could be happy in a little way.
I was in tears on this day and a friend I was staying with had to take me out to ease off- God rewards her heart.
And every birthday doesn’t fail to leave me with reflections.
Somewhat but then, it is just as it should be
Thinking through where I am coming from and where I’m heading
I remember days I would cry for a reason & other days without no reason
Days I would be so absorbed about the future
Days I was tortured by myriads of negative thoughts
The thought of people not liking me ate into my subconscious incapacitating me.
What about the fear of doing too much?
“It’s your temperament” I would say to excuse doing the work
I chose the former over The Holy Spirit
“I’m not ready for us to visit that room”
But He was patient with me .
Until a day, in 2017, He said I want to make you clean, let me go in your secret place
So I opened up the door and as two of us walked in.
I was so ashamed, His light revealed my inadequacies
But when I think about that room now, I’m not afraid anymore
Cos I know in Him, my inadequacies never hide but rather revealed.
In 2017, I started living.
You might want to read this I WAS CONFUSED WITH “DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE”
I’m grateful for the beautiful relationships I’m gifted with.
Grateful for wisdom, it’s like a pearl.
Grateful for spiritual growth, not a steep gradient. Gentle but assuredly not shallow.
Grateful for contentment, the peace that comes with it is invaluable
Grateful for my upbringing, my parents did their best
Grateful for all my failures, I’ve learnt, unlearnt & unlearning.
I am going to live this life fully,
With no reservations,
Enjoying my own company.
I will share graceful moments with others,
With giggles, chuckles and guffaws,
In the ocean of His grace.
I hope to say a lot of Amens to your many prayers
I am going to read all of the beautiful updates you have for me and smile
I am also going to take some screenshots to savor on all the kind words
I am going to nurture this conscience of mine to be a child
I am going to be a baby
And a lady
I am going to be simple
And very complex to be unraveled by those with evil intentions.
I hope to be resilient when the conditions appear unfavourable
I hope I would also not strip myself of luxury
Would play the high and low octave to produce a melodious harmony.
Not going to be boxed any longer,
by my temperament
by my fear or failures
by societal expectations
By people’s projections
By man made doctrines
I would instead live in the fullness of my Creator
Psalm 104:33 I will make songs to the Lord all my life; I will make melody to my God while I have my being.
This string of my life will strike different chords that will produce a melodious harmony beautiful to my Father & and then to my listeners.
IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!
They really nice and cute
Happy birthday ma.
Your new age is blessed.
Continue to bask in the joy that your purpose fulfilment brings.
Thank God for life and where He has brought you too.
Greater heights IJN
Happy birthday hun. This was a joy to read. Keep shinning in the light that God has given you
Happy birthday in arrears ma.
We Thank God for growth